I haven't been to sunbeams the last three weeks. One thing after another keeps popping up so finally today I was back.
I struggle in my calling.
I look around and I can always find someone who either
a) thinks that it's an easy job to do and/or fun OR
b) they would be AMAZING in that calling.
So I struggle.
I struggle with feeling inadequate.
The first week I was gone I got an email from a sunbeam's mom to tell me that her son was really upset that I wasn't there. I appreciated getting it. I felt like I actually connected to the kids. Week after week I have been left feeling like they haven't gotten ANYTHING out of the class and that I was some boring old (ok maybe not OLD) grumpy lady who wouldn't let them play with toys. BUT a kid ACTUALLY likes me. That's a good feeling.
Today upon arriving at church I inspected (glanced) around my room to find..... TOYS. That's right. So I fully expected that all through class I would get, "teacher, can we play with toys now?" BUT I didn't hear it once. and they were all happy to see me....
now if only they wanted to hear me...
(maybe that's pushing my luck)
1 comment:
I totally know how you feel!!! I am a sunday school teacher as well but I would gladly take sunbeams over my class. I teach the 16 year olds. Sunbeams I feel would be so much easier cuz no matter what you say, those sweet little kids love you and they just want to learn so bad. 16 year olds just ask me why I didn't bring treats that day. It's good in some ways though cuz I'm really good friends with all the kids so it goes good but I always feel like they are judging me cuz I really feel like I am a crappy teacher. But at the same time I just feel like I need to be in that calling, as much as I feel like someone else would be so much better, I need to be there for myself and better who I am. I've been doing it for 2 years now...maybe it's time for a release?? haha
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