Paranoia and Anticipation

 Things never go as planned.

They rarely go smoothly.

At least for me.

I say this not to be pessimistic

But

The more kids I have

The older I get

Etc

I learn that things just are as they are.

This last week has been no exception.

I had planned and worked hard to have a lovely Christmas.

It was

But

Not quite how we planned.

This has been a relatively smooth pregnancy

I have actually lost weight and felt pretty good

But

This last week has been a good reminder how quickly that can change too.

I always 

{I am assured this is normal}

Have anxiety towards the end.

I am not an anxious person by nature 

I honestly don't know how people deal with the worry

It is exhausting.

I am fortunate that it really only strikes in the later part.

But

It is here.

I felt it withe previous three. 

It's gotten worse with each child.

Maybe I realize how much can actually go wrong

Maybe I have more at stake

Maybe it's worse with this one because of all the little things that have happened this week.

Or because of our experience with Penny.

Part of me wishes I could flash forward and know that things will be fine

But

I know that I wouldn't want to know if it wasn't going to be fine.

That I suppose is the beauty of life.

It is what it is. You do your best. You put a smile on your face.

You put one foot in front of the other

And

You walk forward with anticipation {and a little anxiety}

Waiting for the next part to unfold.

1 more week- let the knitting commence

 I told my self now that Christmas was over and that knitting complete I would start on a few baby projects. I don't really do gender neutral... But IF this baby happens to be a boy then I know a few other people having babies this year. I knitted the baby sack and hat into a newborn size but I feel like perhaps this baby might have been more appropriately sized with a 3 month old.....

I have a whole bucket more yarn sitting and waiting for snugly baby things! And since I have now been officially banned from doing anything (seriously- everything) I think I might actually get most of it knitted :)

Piles of things

Dusty is officially back to work.

The house is now being cleaned of all the wonderful piles of new things.

This next week promises to be busy

But

Busy with fun activities like

Skiing

And shopping

And skating

And if the weather holds out

Horseback riding.

Once Christmas is all boxed away

And in between

The fun stuff

I should probably think about getting something out

For the baby...

Christmas eve Eve

Oh boy.

I actually think it might technically be Christmas eve....

You would think that THIS year 

I would of tried a little harder to have a relaxing 23rd of December.

It has not been.

I am behind

And

To top it allllllllllllllll off....

My feet have disappeared.

For real.

Gone.

Instead replaced with painful masses of fluid.

I always get swollen feet while in this "condition"

But

I was so hopeful this time.

It didn't hit until 38 weeks

But

It sure did come in swiftly

Just like

The 23rd of december.........

My unmotivated day this week

I need my head examined.

I am tired.

I want to sleep.

Instead I make snack mix.

What my counter looks like until snack mix gets made.....

After snack mix gets made.....

I am glad it's over.

I think the smell of bugles might make me sick.

But

The people I make this for will love it....

A lot....

And if they don't...

Hopefully they never tell me 

The One and Only Shot

No one gets to see a body shot....

But this will probably be one of the only photos posted

That will be of my stomach.

Ever.

Baby 4 comes in less than a few weeks

I should be getting ready

Should is the key word.

But instead life just keeps purring along.

Penny is impressed with how big the baby must be.

She has taken up the roll of official "bender"

She picks up everything.

Hopefully this will keep up post-baby!!

I must look like I am haggard or something

Even dusty is starting to help out in the house

(outside of his "normal" tasks)

It's a good thing Christmas is but a week away

Because I am totally ready to go into hibernation mode!

Getting ready for church

Most Sundays are crazy.

Chores, breakfast, 3 little girls, me, lessons, bags, talks, and then dusty.

This Sunday should of been nuts

But it wasn't too bad.

I procrastinates getting off of the couch as long as humanly possible

And

In doing so

Managed to snap a photo of the girls in front of the living room tree.

All I want for Christmas

This front tooth has been loose for a long while....

It's been bugging Lucy 

She even asked her dentist to pull it out!

He assured her it would be a couple months till it fell out....

That was 2 weeks ago....

It's amazing what a persistent personality does to a slightly wiggly tooth!

Toque

I am sure Lucy will be very upset if she ever figures out that penny was wearing her Christmas present before her!!!!!!

So shhh!

I have been knitting up a storm trying to get it all done and this is a gift at Lucy's request.

She picked the yarn

She told me exactly what she wanted.

Now she will just have to wait.... 

I just hope the pom pom is big enough!!

Planning

It's hard to believe that this was two years ago,

So much has changed.

I have been thinking about life "plans"

We were very happy two years ago.

Ellie was just starting grade 1

We liked our house.

We were busy making plans and living

and no one would of even guessed this is where we would be now.

we are happy now too.

(you'll love this lead-in to the new thought...)

and we are planning still

like for the storm that hit us.

We prepared

 but no matter what preparations are made

there will always be surprises...

like frozen water lines.

sheesh.

the water lines weren't even the biggest battle..

it was putting on my pants

and taking off my boots...

and i wouldn't of been able to plan on how many times

i would actually have to do those two tasks!

Ellie out doing sheep chores.

I think they were happy to see her 

after the long cold night.

I guess the point is..

have fun making plans

but

they probably won't work out 

and 

you'll still be happy

even if you are trudging through a mountain of snow

with a hammer

screwdriver

and kettle.....