Paranoia and Anticipation

 Things never go as planned.

They rarely go smoothly.

At least for me.

I say this not to be pessimistic

But

The more kids I have

The older I get

Etc

I learn that things just are as they are.

This last week has been no exception.

I had planned and worked hard to have a lovely Christmas.

It was

But

Not quite how we planned.

This has been a relatively smooth pregnancy

I have actually lost weight and felt pretty good

But

This last week has been a good reminder how quickly that can change too.

I always 

{I am assured this is normal}

Have anxiety towards the end.

I am not an anxious person by nature 

I honestly don't know how people deal with the worry

It is exhausting.

I am fortunate that it really only strikes in the later part.

But

It is here.

I felt it withe previous three. 

It's gotten worse with each child.

Maybe I realize how much can actually go wrong

Maybe I have more at stake

Maybe it's worse with this one because of all the little things that have happened this week.

Or because of our experience with Penny.

Part of me wishes I could flash forward and know that things will be fine

But

I know that I wouldn't want to know if it wasn't going to be fine.

That I suppose is the beauty of life.

It is what it is. You do your best. You put a smile on your face.

You put one foot in front of the other

And

You walk forward with anticipation {and a little anxiety}

Waiting for the next part to unfold.

1 more week- let the knitting commence

 I told my self now that Christmas was over and that knitting complete I would start on a few baby projects. I don't really do gender neutral... But IF this baby happens to be a boy then I know a few other people having babies this year. I knitted the baby sack and hat into a newborn size but I feel like perhaps this baby might have been more appropriately sized with a 3 month old.....

I have a whole bucket more yarn sitting and waiting for snugly baby things! And since I have now been officially banned from doing anything (seriously- everything) I think I might actually get most of it knitted :)

Piles of things

Dusty is officially back to work.

The house is now being cleaned of all the wonderful piles of new things.

This next week promises to be busy

But

Busy with fun activities like

Skiing

And shopping

And skating

And if the weather holds out

Horseback riding.

Once Christmas is all boxed away

And in between

The fun stuff

I should probably think about getting something out

For the baby...

Christmas eve Eve

Oh boy.

I actually think it might technically be Christmas eve....

You would think that THIS year 

I would of tried a little harder to have a relaxing 23rd of December.

It has not been.

I am behind

And

To top it allllllllllllllll off....

My feet have disappeared.

For real.

Gone.

Instead replaced with painful masses of fluid.

I always get swollen feet while in this "condition"

But

I was so hopeful this time.

It didn't hit until 38 weeks

But

It sure did come in swiftly

Just like

The 23rd of december.........

My unmotivated day this week

I need my head examined.

I am tired.

I want to sleep.

Instead I make snack mix.

What my counter looks like until snack mix gets made.....

After snack mix gets made.....

I am glad it's over.

I think the smell of bugles might make me sick.

But

The people I make this for will love it....

A lot....

And if they don't...

Hopefully they never tell me 

The One and Only Shot

No one gets to see a body shot....

But this will probably be one of the only photos posted

That will be of my stomach.

Ever.

Baby 4 comes in less than a few weeks

I should be getting ready

Should is the key word.

But instead life just keeps purring along.

Penny is impressed with how big the baby must be.

She has taken up the roll of official "bender"

She picks up everything.

Hopefully this will keep up post-baby!!

I must look like I am haggard or something

Even dusty is starting to help out in the house

(outside of his "normal" tasks)

It's a good thing Christmas is but a week away

Because I am totally ready to go into hibernation mode!

Getting ready for church

Most Sundays are crazy.

Chores, breakfast, 3 little girls, me, lessons, bags, talks, and then dusty.

This Sunday should of been nuts

But it wasn't too bad.

I procrastinates getting off of the couch as long as humanly possible

And

In doing so

Managed to snap a photo of the girls in front of the living room tree.

All I want for Christmas

This front tooth has been loose for a long while....

It's been bugging Lucy 

She even asked her dentist to pull it out!

He assured her it would be a couple months till it fell out....

That was 2 weeks ago....

It's amazing what a persistent personality does to a slightly wiggly tooth!

Toque

I am sure Lucy will be very upset if she ever figures out that penny was wearing her Christmas present before her!!!!!!

So shhh!

I have been knitting up a storm trying to get it all done and this is a gift at Lucy's request.

She picked the yarn

She told me exactly what she wanted.

Now she will just have to wait.... 

I just hope the pom pom is big enough!!

Planning

It's hard to believe that this was two years ago,

So much has changed.

I have been thinking about life "plans"

We were very happy two years ago.

Ellie was just starting grade 1

We liked our house.

We were busy making plans and living

and no one would of even guessed this is where we would be now.

we are happy now too.

(you'll love this lead-in to the new thought...)

and we are planning still

like for the storm that hit us.

We prepared

 but no matter what preparations are made

there will always be surprises...

like frozen water lines.

sheesh.

the water lines weren't even the biggest battle..

it was putting on my pants

and taking off my boots...

and i wouldn't of been able to plan on how many times

i would actually have to do those two tasks!

Ellie out doing sheep chores.

I think they were happy to see her 

after the long cold night.

I guess the point is..

have fun making plans

but

they probably won't work out 

and 

you'll still be happy

even if you are trudging through a mountain of snow

with a hammer

screwdriver

and kettle.....

horse parts and paranoia

Today I was rubbing lotion into Penny's feet

she has really dry skin

but that is beside the point.

I am rubbing the bottom of her foot

and she looks at me

like only a 3 year old can

and asks,

"why is my frog so ticklish?"

I cried.

This may be a sign that we might spend too much time

with our furry friends in the barn 

and not enough time

with the human variety.

(a frog is a part of the bottom of a horse hoof)

Lately we have spend more than are usual

time out with the horses.

We have been moving pens and changing up

who is where 

so

we spend more time checking on them making sure they are okay.

Yesterday was no exception

so Penny and I go out and check everyone.

When we got up to the top of the hill

(which takes a while between her short legs and my lack of being able to breathe)

we noticed Biscuits

(my old mare)

wouldn't use one of her legs....

I couldn't find anything wrong with it.

but

with the way our week has been going

(Dusty's horse broke it's leg... and not in a normal horse break it's leg sorta way)

(and two horses pushed through fences)

panic and paranoia set in.

Anyways

she is going to be fine

my very handy and helpful neighbour came down

he figured out what was going on

and today she is back to her

regular hay-burnin' self.

I am very much looking forward to sharing the load

and perhaps with all my "free" time I might actually

teach Penny

the parts of a HUMAN foot!

Cookies and Soup

I tired to write a post a couple of days ago 

but

I just couldn't get my head together.

We have been busy doing lots of things as usual

the kids are thrilled it's Christmas

we made Christmas tree cookies today

they decorated them with mm ornaments and green frosting

I am surprised they are sleeping from all the sugar.

We also made a huge pot of soup

so 

hopefully we can just eat that and I won't have to cook for a while.

The girls have been busy skating

and riding

and playing

and cleaning.

We have been trying to get our act together and get a few neglected places sorted out.

it has worked out pretty well.

I hosted a girls night out last week and did a toy swap

Dusty and I took the left over toys to the sally-ann

it turned out pretty good.

Dusty crossed off his "good deed" for the week

although I am pretty sure he could of crossed out a few more....

I decided to paint the office...

So

dusty painted the office this week and it looks great

so much better and brighter.

The girls love it

and I love it

which means the room is actually being used again for what it was supposed to be used for.

Everyone has been super helpful lately

which either means

I am cantankerous or

I look like I need help

either way it's been nice to have the kids be extra thoughtful.

Especially Penny...

I don't remember the last time I had to bend down to get anything!

This week felt long

but I think that next week will probably be better.

It's supposed to be warmer

which means Dusty and the girls will be out riding their ponies

and the chickens will lay more eggs

and there won't be frozen hoses to string out and drain

and its report cards and the last week of November and the relief society Christmas party

and I don't have a doctor's appointment...

Tomorrow promises to be the start of a good week...

a Winters Evening

as promised...

some skating pictures.

Dusty took the kiddos in during the week

This was Penny's first attempt at real skates

up until now it has been bobskates

she was pretty good.

she was impressed with herself

I might actually get a hockey player.

I am not going to hold my breath though.

This Month

November

I haven't taken nearly as many pictures as I should be.

Lucy is in skating 

and loves it

Dusty has been skating with her during the week

plus her lesson

We will probably put her in for the winter term.

Penny has enjoyed being an only child

she does look forward to her sisters coming home

she has developed a new friendship with her dad

it involves fast speeds

snow

and the quad.

Ellie went into school this year

really looking forward to the year

and while she is enjoying school and her friends

she is beginning her retreat

to the "quiet" of home.

Dusty never feels like he has enough time

which is not new

but added to his plate are all of the things to get ready for winter

plus we had a really hectic fall.

I have all my Christmas stuff out and most of it up

I have slowed my days down.

I am back to knitting

(multiple things)

and crafting

and baking

and cleaning

all the quiet centering activities in which I love

I am almost done creating my gifts

it feels good.

With the snow and the melting 

the riding is slowing down

(that and it's almost impossible to get on)

I might need a stool to get into bed never mind on a horse.

the animals are getting settled into a new winter routine.

I used to love the snow and winter

and then as I have had children

I like it less

it's a season for a  lot more work

but

I have appreciated the weather this year.

It's slowing me down.

giving me more excuses to just be home.

Hopefully next post I can bombard you with awesome pictures of the girls and all their November activities...

Look out Disney!

we have a lot of dress-up clothes.

a LOT!

AND

because of that

the girls

have the luxury

of a costume change.

So

school costumes have to be

-easy

-able to do school in

-no make-up

-not scary

Lucy picked Brave aka Merida

and she was fab!

although I don't know if the hair was "school friendly"

Ellie decided to be Tangled aka Rapunzel

and she was lovely.

She loved her costume so much that 

she decided not to partake

in the costume change

for trick or treating.

Our evening Coven.

except for Ellie

Lucy won best girl costume at the church

(we decided to hit up the church instead of braving the wind)

a super smart plan...

and now our candy is packed away

so I don't eat it

and 

Halloween is officially OVER!

Canadian Parents

so generally, 

I put myself in the slacker category for parenting

I don't do much with them

(intentionally)

I figure they are young..

lots of time to play and just be little

EXCEPT

Lucy want to skate.

So I signed her up for skating

and specifically she wants to figure skate

so being the "good" parent I am 

I called around for figure skating clubs in the area

There isn't any...

Now this is a sub-tangent

HOW IS THERE NO SKATING CLUB?!?!

we live in the land of snow and ice...

skating is part of our culture

skating is our past time.

My dad taught me to skate

when I was young

AND

granted I am a slacker SOOO 

I haven't force taught them 

YET

it was coming though

always on the "to-do" list

Well this whole phoning around for skate club

has made me realize that there 

may be a few of us

"slacker" parents

who are responsible for killing 

iconic Canadian past times

NEEDLESS  to say

we are going skating tonight.

and yes

even I intend to strap on the ol' blades

and pay homage to 

something

that 

should

truly 

be cherished

and perhaps in my new resolution

of not being a slacker

i will

give my children

a love of ice

and skates

and small town rinks

and hot chocolate

and cold toes

and rosy cheeks.

Monday Night

I love thanksgiving.

Most holidays, actually.

I like getting together

with our extended families

eating

visiting

you know the usual holiday stuff.

but

after 2-3 very busy weeks

attending family things

church things

It was really nice to have

Monday

all to ourselves.

we got to do what we wanted to do

Dusty took out Lincoln with Penny

Ellie rode Roxy

Lucy rode Midnight

(for the first time since breaking her leg)

and I got to ride

Zola

yes I finally named her- 

it means lump of Earth. 

She gets called moose when she is bad...

which is never

but I will contain my love.

We all came in last night

and

felt 

happy.

Lucy couldn't stop professing her love of riding.

Ellie was thrilled we all went.

Dusty was glad Lincoln was back to being himself

and I couldn't move..

haha

but seriously

I thought I might have to sleep up there.

It was some good quality family time.

Drum Roll Please....

So if you know me

you may have noticed 

that I have gotten fatter.

Well it's not just from food....

(thank goodness)

 

So hopefully I'll be less fat the beginning of January.

Penny is THRILLED

(which is good 

because I was worried 

about her and Dusty

coping

with

the 

change)

Lucy wants a boy.

Ellie has been here so I think she mostly thinks

about crying babies

diapers

and me

being too busy.

Dusty and I are both pullin' for a girl

but

it really doesn't matter to us.

so that's it.

life in a nutshell.

I've done a good job ignoring it

this has seemed to go by

faster than the usual

snails pace.

I have about 10 weeks left

which almost seems like a homestretch

after 30...

Ellie's Baptism

She was true to form

totally uncomfortable

with all the attention.

but

it went off fairly smoothly

nothing major

just a nice simple evening.

New Love

This is my new love.

It's a girl.

She is three.

The

only thing I have left to do

is name her.

Days to Look Back Upon

While the weather has been cooling

the afternoons are still warm

and pleasant

Our grass is green and

we've been home more 

Our animals have been turned out to graze

on the delicious grasses 

and clovers found on our lawn.

All of our animals have their place here

but 

the sheep seemed to have found

a special place

in the 

hearts of 

our girls.

I am grateful for the opportunity

we have been given

to raise our children in the country.

To have sheep

and chickens

and geese

and ponies

and kitties.

To have space and fresh

(albeit dusty prairie)

air.

We spent 5 hours this morning 

riding.

The girls just saddled up

(I mean I saddled them up)

and they took off.

Ellie rode around and around and

around

the yard.

In and out of trees

over sticks

through the garden.

Lucy worked on a barrel pattern

and pole bending in the corral.

Even little Penny

rode completely

by herself for a few laps.

We came in 

hungry

tired

but 

so

very

happy.

I think we've found our happiest place on Earth.

First days

So I am a little late posting back to school pictures

but

late is better than never

sorta.

The girls 

and by girls I mean Lucy

was really excited to start school.

She is like that.

She'll probably skip off to university

and then around the globe

and

look back and wave

but 

that's about it.

Ellie on the other hand

will live next door to us

Ellie did love back to school shopping

and true to her nature

she bought everything in the same colour theme

  

Lucy however

did not.

I wonder what she will look like everyday.

First day of school outfits...

fridays and sundays

Today is Dusty's Friday.

Normally we try

{try being the key word above}

to get the house neat and tidy

and something yummy to eat in the oven

but

It is my Sunday

and when Sundays and Fridays collide

the house is rarely tidy

or smells delightful

and alas

this Sunday is no different.

Instead we visited with my parents

and played together

all good things

but 

he won't come home to a clean house

or cookies

but instead

4 girls will probably be passed out

in their beds

getting ready for Monday...

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas

So we go through food phases.

Enchiladas is one that's been around for a while

but it hasn't been until lately that

the kids have really liked them.

You can adjust this recipe to your tastes.

I prefer really hot enchiladas

Ellie likes hers super mild.

This is a little spicier than mild but Ellie will eat them

so that pretty much makes them safe for anyone.

but I have made them even milder and

with no vegetables for the pickier eaters.

like I said,

adjust.

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas

Tortillas (like 10)

3 chicken breasts

1 container of sour cream (big container)

1 package of shredded cheese (or about 2-3 cups of grated cheese)

salsa (optional)

tomatoes (optional)

corn (optional)

beans (I either use re-fried or black or optional)

Taco sauce (I usually just make my own since it's like 5 bucks for a tiny jar)

Cook chicken

chop chicken

put chicken in bowl with 1/2- 3/4's of sour cream

add in salsa 1/2 cup- 1 cup 

(this all depends on how many other ingredients you are putting in and how hot you want them to taste)

Add in half the cheese

Add in chopped veggies and beans 

(unless using re-fried then I just smear some on the tortilla)

Mix the bowl

Put a heaping tablespoon of mixture in each tortilla and roll them up

put them in a pan lined with parchment paper

(because I don't love scrubbing pans)

make all of them.

Now pour/spoon taco sauce over them

**If you are making taco sauce get a bowl.

Add 1 can of condensed tomato soup

add 2-3 tablespoons of salsa

add 2 tablespoons of taco seasoning

add a tablespoon of chili powder

add 2 tablespoon of garlic powder

stir

taste

add anything else

(this is where I add franks or cayenne pepper)

spoon over enchiladas

sprinkle remainder of  cheese

bake for 1 hour

at 350.

Dusty's Family

We took some family pictures

of Dusty's family.

Here are some of them.

MAN-ipulation

This was going to be a funny post

but 

I sense that my delay in writing this post

will now turn this into a vent

but

I will try to maintain 

some sense of decorum

even though

it is 430...

(breathe.... smile... think happy thoughts)

MAN-ipulation

- When (particularly during hunting season) a MAN trys to use women's logic to get what he wants....

example:

"I should really go get the trailer so that we can go camping like you wanted"

means:

"I would like to disappear for the day and 

not feel guilty that 

you are home taking care of everything 

while I go and find a good spot 

to go hunting for opening day"

and I am saying this

with no 

bitterness 

at 

all.

Harvest Haze

There is a thick cloud of dust

hanging over everything

it's hotter than Hades 

There is the promise of rain

I don't know if it will come.

The heat has made the trees tired

the kids grumpy

the garden droop

the horses are irritated

the sheep have disappeared under the trees

the hens are lounging by the watering buckets

and I had to find a place to nap.

The nights are cooling off

Fall is coming

but right now

in the midst of harvest

we are stuck in the haze

of dust

sweat

and heat.

A dog.... er.... Sheeps day

it is hot

which is usually fine with me

but

I am not at the lake

and

it was one of "those" days.

Millions of things to do

and no energy

and grumpy

and it wasn't just me

Luckily for me

it looks as though we might get a storm.

phew

Ellie is outside as I type this

getting chickens in the coop

and dogs in the barn

Penny is outside

mostly because that's what she does

but

she is supposed to be picking up toys

likely not going to happen.

Back

We have been home for a week or so

More so than a week

It's been nice to have my stuff

my bed...

PENNY'S bed....

It's been nice to see all the animals

With Lucy outa commission

Ellie has had to take over riding duties

much to her initial dismay

but it's been going rather well.

I had been planning on putting the girls

in riding lessons this fall

but

my expectations have gotten in the way

After doing some investigating

I will either have to 

1) pay an arm and a leg (more like two legs) to get them into lessons that are amazing

or

2) sacrifice quality horsemanship skills and still pay a fair amount.

It is important to me that the girls develop proper technical riding skills.

So

I decided to do my own lessons.

I had started before we moved

but

I got intimidated living around people

who have crazy horse skills.

but

I am outa options

because

I am opinionated

and maybe

the whole lesson thing

will change my opinionated attitude

but

so far so good.

My project this week has been putting together a little book.

A beginners "guide" to riding.

It has all the skills for basic horsemanship in it

with some games

etc.

Ellie and Lucy are already dying to play with it

so that's probably a good sign.

Anyways.

I start this week with other people's children....

The ponies are preparing themselves

they know something is askew since

I have been out every night with them

(some of them have begun to hate me)

(maybe it will make them love the kids more)

Old Habits are hard to Break

The first part of summer was vastly different than previous summers

but

as August came in

we got back into some of our old habits.

Lucy was the exception

what was supposed to take 4 weeks 

has turned into

7

so she coloured

and did stickers

and read books,

I hope that she doesn't feel like she

missed out on too much.

 Ellie and Penny in the water

Penny had a slow start 

but now I put her in a life jacket as soon as her eyes open!

Ellie started swimming WITHOUT

her life jacket.

A HUGE accomplishment for 

a daughter

who holds dearly

to any of her safety attachments.

the supervisors.

and my little fish.

Who just might be into synchronised swimming...

Besides stickers she did make it on her quad a few times.

thank goodness for dad's.

and this is where he spent most of his holidays.

cleaning the boat...

from the children to the dogs

he had a full time hobby.

I feel like....

I should say something.

So

I think

that i will say

that

we are doing

GREAT.

Summer finally feels a bit like summer.

Busy and crazy

and I found myself 

wishing

for fall.

For soup

and leaves

quiet time

and knitting.

but I will keep that between us

because

we only get 2 months of warm

so I will only partly 

look forward to those 

things

while 

enjoying the rest of the warmth

of August.

dental Inflation

Lucy has been wiggling her teeth

since

Ellie's first tooth gave it's first wiggle.

she has dreamt of toothless grins

and tooth-fairy visits.

Finally 

two weeks ago she got her first loose tooth.

She wiggled it

and waited

and waited 

and waited

until 

finally 

I said it was ready.

her first toothless smile.

she sat for a while in front of the mirror

admiring her grin.

BUT

then

she got an even better surprise

TWO teeth.

Her other bottom tooth was loose too

but wasn't ready

until it lost its companion

and it practically jumped out of her mouth.

 So now she is super impressed 

with her

grin.

And that smile

cleaned the tooth fairy out.

Apparently

teeth

are 

worth 5 BUCKS

a tooth!

sheesh!

fancy feet

this is Dusty's horse.

He's had it a while.

like since he was

14

and trust me

that was a while ago.

She hurt herself

pretty bad.

her heel is gone.

she has been lame for the last 4 years

and

FINALLY

her

hoof is growing.

and now he can ride her.

and that makes him

happy.